John McIntyre's Peeve Peeves
Posted by June on May 2, 2016


For about 14 years, I've been engaged in the less-than-endearing  task of telling readers of my newspaper column that their grammar peeves are, in fact, superstitions. So I figured I'd let someone else bear the bad news -- Baltimore Sun copy editor and columnist John McIntyre. And if you still think it's wrong to split an infinitive, start a sentence with "and," end a sentence with a preposition, use "hopefully" to mean "I hope" or use "they" to refer to a single person, McIntyre would like a word.

Bad News for Good Editing
Posted by June on April 25, 2016


The Bay Area News Group, which operates more than two dozen small newspapers, has announced it will lay off all 11 of its copy editors, sending stories to press without any copy editing at all. For those of us who've spent years refining the craft this isn't welcome news.

I've been hoping that the decline or absence of editing standards at many online outlets would, instead of bringing down standards across the board, separate the top-quality stuff from the pack. I mean, I know that most readers don't consciously notice subtle style and grammar infelicities, but as Malcolm Gladwell so effectively argued in "Blink," the can't-put-my-finger-on-what's-wrong subconscious can still discern between good and bad. I was hoping that, in light of all the typos you see on line, this all added up to good news for us advocates of good editing. I'm getting more pessimistic.

Here's a link reporting the Bay Area News Group announcement.

Of Modifying Phrases and Marauding Members of Parliament
Posted by June on April 18, 2016

In 2014, to promote a new exhibit on Vikings, the British Museum set sail with a clever public relations spectacle: an authentic-looking vessel manned by a motley crew that sailed down the Thames and past government buildings where members of Parliament had a front-row seat for the show.

As one insightful observer reported: "A longboat full of Vikings, promoting the new British Museum exhibition, was seen sailing past the Palace of Westminster yesterday. Famously uncivilized, destructive and rapacious, with an almost insatiable appetite for rough sex and heavy drinking, the MPs nonetheless looked up for a bit to admire the vessel."

And to really understand how the writer pulled off that joke, you need to know a thing or two about modifying phrases. Here’s a recent column of mine that lays it out for you.

Tips for Writing Better Sentences
Posted by June on April 11, 2016


There’s no formula for writing a good sentence. There’s not even a formula for knowing what a good sentence is. The very idea is subjective. Yet I’ve spent a lot of time analyzing some truly bad sentences and considering what could make them better. Based on those harrowing experiences, here are some tips. They won’t apply in every situation. But they’re worth considering when you find your sentence is in trouble.


1. Identify all the clauses in the sentence.
The mayor went
 to Washington because he had a meeting with the senator.

2. For each clause ask: Could the subject or verb be more vivid or substantive?
Bob’s desire
 was that he would come to occupy the Lou Larson’s job.  --->
 wanted Lou Larson’s job.
Ask: Does the main clause convey the most important information?
Paris is a place
 that gets a lot of tourists.  --->
Paris gets a lot of tourists

3. Look for “upside-down subordination,” where the most notable information is trapped in a subordinate clause by untilafterbeforeifwhenbecause, etc.

When Officer Miller shot the robber, he knew it was a mistake.  --->
Officer Miller shot the robber. He knew it was a mistake.

4. Consider whether each clause/action should be made into its own sentence.

Karen knew that removing her coat would send bill the wrong signal and didn’t want to give him any ideas because that could lead to trouble.  --->
Karen knew that removing her coat would send Bill the wrong signal. She didn’t want to give him any ideas. That could lead to trouble.

5. Look for other sentence elements, like participial phrases, that could be made into separates sentences.

Having been in a lupus survivor for 15 years, John knew what to do.  --->
John had survived lupus for 15 years. He knew what to do.

6. Look for passive voice and try converting to active voice. Compare:
The coffee was served.  --->
The waiter served the coffee.

7. Look for actions and descriptions converted into abstract objects (nominalizations) and consider changing.
It’s clear she has happiness. --->
It’s clear she is happy.

8. Look for modifiers that can be deleted without loss of meaning, especially adjectives and manner adverbs.

9. Root out verbose expressions and linking terms: thereforefurthermorethusfor his partdue to the fact thatit is his opinion that and some instances of in addition to and from blank to blank.

10. Look for poorly placed modifying phrases and look for ways to rework the sentence.
Steve photographed an elephant in his pajamas.
The elephant appeared just after Steve had leapt out of bed wearing his pajamas.
Wearing his pajamas, Steve leapt out of bed and photographed the elephant.
Steve was still in his pajamas when he photographed the elephant.