'The Careful Writer' and Prepositions

 

Of all the old-fuddy-duddy books in my language library, one of the fuddy-duddiest is Theodore M. Bernstein’s “The Careful  Writer: A Modern Guide to English Usage.” I don’t recommend it. There’s some good information in there, there's also a lot of opinion presented as fact. And because you can’t tell where research-based advice ends and the writer’s biases begin, this book can leave unwary readers misinformed.

However, there’s one little nugget of wisdom in this book that I find myself citing over and over. No other source I know of expresses it as well. In fact, most don’t address the topic at all. It has to do with prepositions.

Is it:

I have an affinity with him or I have an affinity for him?

I am uninterested in that subject or I am uninterested by that subject?

She differs with her husband on that point or She differs with her husband on that point?

Are you enamored of a certain person or enamored by him?

Are you embarrassed by something or can you be embarrassed of something?

These are the types of questions that leave English speakers baffled. It seems like there’s nowhere to turn because, in a lot of cases, there isn’t. Sometimes the dictionary will drop a hint. But when it doesn’t, you’re high and dry. There is no Big Book of Which Preposition to Use With Which Adjective, Noun, or Verb. As a comprehensive listing, the information just isn't available.

Bernstein is one of few who dare to offer a blanket solution. And it’s a good one. Here’s what Bernstein says about all these preposition conundrums and more:

“These are questions that cannot be answered with rules. The proper preposition is a matter of idiom; and idioms, if they do not come ‘naturally,’ must be either learned or looked up. ... If a desired idiom cannot be found here or in an unabridged dictionary (and dictionaries do not in all instances provide this kind of information), the only thing to do is to consult three knowing friends and get a consensus.”

In other words, whenever you're wondering about a matter like "I'm angry at him" vs. "I'm angry with him," there is no better authority than the ear of a native English speaker, except of course that of four native English speakers.

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